Episode 1: Embracing Curiosity - What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

"What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?"

In the inaugural episode of "Humaning," host Liza Tullidge takes us on a journey back to our childhood wonder, exploring the profound question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Through the lens of curiosity, Liza discusses how this simple question can ignite our passions, drive personal growth, and lead us to a fulfilling life. Discover how to rekindle your sense of curiosity, align it with your personal definitions of success, and use it to build a meaningful legacy. Join us for an insightful and inspiring conversation that will challenge you to view life with a renewed sense of wonder and possibility.

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Human-ing is a Maven + Co production.

Transcript

Good afternoon, everyone. Today, I want to take you back to a question we were all asked as children: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' As kids, we answered this question with curiosity and wonder because the world was a magical place filled with endless possibilities. 

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a cowboy, an astronaut, a firefighter, and the President of the United States—all at the same time. Were these things mutually exclusive to me? No. Was I qualified for any of them? No. Did I think they were unrealistic for me at the time? Absolutely not. I just thought, 'Wouldn't it be cool to get to do all those things?' Today, I want to help you reconnect with that childlike curiosity and show you how to carry it throughout your life.

Curiosity is the spark that ignites our passion and drives us to explore new horizons. When we were children, we didn’t think about what was practical or achievable—we simply thought, 'Wouldn't that be cool?' This sense of wonder is crucial for innovation and personal growth. But why do we lose it as we grow older?

Our brains are wired for survival. At the core of this survival mechanism is a neurological system called the limbic system, which regulates emotion and behaviour. Within the limbic system is a pair of almond-shaped cell groupings in the center of our brain called the amygdala. This small but powerful part of our brain is the main processing center for emotions, particularly fear. Its primary role is to protect us by encouraging caution and risk avoidance. Our amygdala is capable of entirely overriding our brains when it senses danger and puts us in a reactive state until it thinks we are safe where aren’t looking beyond the immediate moment. 

Now, imagine the prefrontal cortex, another brain system, as the wise guide sitting in the front of your brain helping you succeed along your path. This area, responsible for reasoning, planning, and decision-making, helps us navigate complex situations, strategically plan, and decide our course of action. 

This is the part of our brain that picks our lens on life and chooses how we see the world. As children, our prefrontal cortex is still developing, allowing us to dream and explore without much counterweight of what’s “realistic” as the world is all still so new and things that felt impossible yesterday regularly keep becoming possible today. 

We dream with fewer inhibitions as we haven’t yet experienced many of life’s negative aspects, so whilst our prefrontal cortex is opening up the worlds of possibilities, our amygdala is also remaining more open - allowing us to explore with excitement far and wide.

As we grow, both the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala learn from a broader range of life’s experiences. This development means our prefrontal cortex becomes more adept at making nuanced decisions, but equally our amygdala, having now experienced pain, hurt, and disappointment, also becomes more sensitive to potential dangers. The amygdala, ever vigilant, sends signals to the prefrontal cortex, constantly assessing, 'Is this safe? Is this okay? Will I be embarrassed?' Its role is crucial for our protection, yet it can also make us more risk-averse, overshadowing our natural curiosity. Making that new path of “let’s be an astronaut” too dangerous to even explore. 

This collaboration between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala helps us navigate risks and make informed choices. However, if the conversation between them becomes out of balance, it can dampen our adventurous spirit. The fear of the unknown, amplified by the amygdala’s vigilance, curbs our natural curiosity, making us hesitant to step beyond familiar boundaries.

To reactivate our curiosity, we need to foster a balanced dialogue between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala. We need to give ourselves that space to dream and play again in balance with a grounded perspective. We need to be able to move through that fear into a place of permission when facing uncertainty. 

So when the amygdala sounds its alarms, instead of shying away and shutting down, we acknowledge them: 'Thank you for pointing out this potential threat. I hear you. I am going to keep exploring here, but I promise to do so with caution.' In doing this, we balance our risk management with our sense of wonder, integrating the wisdom of experience with that fearless exploration of our younger selves. We teach ourselves to welcome back in that sense of curiosity and wonder. 

As we grow, life gets more complicated. We face responsibilities, societal expectations, and the realities of daily life. This is where the balance comes in. We need to embrace our curiosity and allow it to guide us, but we also need to ground it with our personal definitions of success.

 I don’t mean success here in terms of what society or our parents have told us to want. Nor that car, watch, house, or vacation. These may come as a byproduct. But what I mean is what makes you go to sleep at the end of the day saying that was a great, full day. I was a success today. What brings that buzz at the end of a day feeling like you won life today? These successful days are what add up into this successful life.

 Shining your curiosity here enables you to begin to build the frameworks of your definitions of success. These definitions act as a reality check, ensuring that our explorations into the wonders of life are meaningful and aligned with our core values, taking us in a direction in which we actually want to go. This means being willing to step out of the field of predictability into the field of possibility, opening ourselves to new opportunities and experiences. It takes us off this set path of milestones and linear achievements and back into a world of possibilities awaiting us to shape them.

Reflecting on our childhood dreams can help us reconnect with our innate sense of wonder. When I was a child dreaming of being a cowboy, it wasn’t about the practicality of the job—I mean I’m pretty sure I thought a pilot, astronaut, and Han Solo were all the same and just as realistic for me. It was about the freedom, the adventure, and the connection with nature. As adults, we need to tap into those feelings that drove our curiosity when defining our success.

Ask yourself: What gives you a sense of freedom? 

What adventures ignite your passion? 

What connections make you feel truly alive?

 Applying our curiosity to these questions helps us define what we truly want in life. This is the first step in creating a fulfilling life: understanding what genuinely excites and motivates us. Your personal definition of success should be rooted in what genuinely fulfills you, not what society dictates.

Curiosity acts as our headlights, illuminating the possibilities ahead, while our personal definitions of success serve as the guide rails, ensuring we stay aligned with what genuinely fulfills us. This balance helps us navigate our journey with purpose and direction, avoiding the pitfalls of societal expectations and external pressures.

What does a fulfilling life encompass for me? 

By continuously asking this question and exploring the answers, we become the architects of our own lives. We create a life that reflects our values and aspirations, driven by curiosity and guided by our core beliefs.

So, we have activated our curiosity and started to look at what we define as success for ourselves. Now the trick to really unlock the full power of these two and to take us on to our next step is in how we combine them. 

When looking at our definitions of success and what we want out of life, we need to give ourselves the space and grace to play, to embody that childlike wonder, and to continually ask, 'What do I want to be when I grow up?' with the open ended belief that anything could be possible. This question should be a lifelong journey, not a destination. It’s about seeing our lives as a canvas, always in our hands to shape and explore. To play and open up before we put the constraints of what feels possible right now on it. 

Our brains are incredibly adaptable through a process called synaptic plasticity. This means we can rewire our thought patterns and habits. Initially, practicing curiosity might feel challenging because we've been conditioned through our early plasticity to frame life through what is predictable, 'realistic,' or safe. But just like learning to play a musical instrument, the more we practice being curious, the easier and more ingrained it becomes. This is synaptic plasticity at work—our brains forming and reinforcing new neural pathways.

By consistently nurturing our curiosity, we fire those pathways making it an automatic lens through which we view the world. This adaptability allows us to remain open to new experiences, continuously explore new possibilities, and make informed, nuanced decisions. Integrating our curiosity with our personal definitions of success helps us create a life that is always evolving, always growing, and always fulfilling.

Embracing change and stepping out of our comfort zones enables us to challenge ourselves and see the world through a lens of possibility rather than limitation. It's about finding the courage to take risks, explore, and innovate, all while staying true to our core values and long-term goals. By doing so, we can create a life that is rich with meaning and aligned with our deepest aspirations.

Take a moment to think back 5, 10 years ago. I would imagine some of the things you consider normal in your life today would have felt totally unrealistic to you back then. For me who grew up with speech impediments, standing on this stage talking to you as I am now would have felt like an impossibility. Yet here I am, all because I let myself get curious about what could be. Embracing change and stepping out of our comfort zones enable us to challenge ourselves and see the world through a lens of possibility and to see what wondrous things could be out there waiting for us.

Allow your curiosity to guide you, and let your personal definitions of success provide the framework to keep you on track. Through synaptic plasticity, we can transform our lives by making curiosity a fundamental part of who we are.

Now to the magic.

Living a life of curiosity and working to align it with our personal definitions of success creates a foundation. A foundation for us to activate our living legacy. Legacy is not just what we leave behind; it's the life we live every day. It is as who and how we show up in the world, moment by moment, day by day. It's the embodiment of our curiosity, our passion, and our commitment to our core values. Legacy is taking that curiosity and sense of success then bringing it to life. 

This is the third piece of our puzzle. It’s the piece that unites them and brings the unified whole to life.

In our first step, Curiosity acts as the lens through which we view the world, constantly opening us to new possibilities and opportunities for growth. It encourages us to see beyond the boundaries of predictability and to venture into the field of possibility. 

In our second step, Our definitions of success, fuelled by curiosity, serve as the guide rails, ensuring that our explorations are aligned with what genuinely fulfills us. They help guide us as to where to turn our curiosity and serve as a check and balance to make sure what we explore has real meaning to us, now and in the future.  

In this third step is where we build a life that is rich with that meaning and impact. Ask yourself "Who do I want to be today?" every day with that same wonder you had as a child, dreaming of your future. And make the choice to yourself to begin to act in accordance with the answer, no matter how small the actions may be at first. Remain open to new possibilities and watch how life begins to evolve.

To put this into practice, think about the small actions you can take today that align with your vision for the future. It might involve setting aside time for new hobbies, seeking out new experiences, or making small changes to your daily routine that bring you closer to your goals. These daily choices and actions, driven by curiosity and guided by our core values, create a living legacy that reflects the life we want to live and the impact we want to make.

So, let's embrace our curiosity, define our own unique paths to success, and live each day with intention. Let's keep asking ourselves, 'What do I want to be when I grow up?' and let that question guide us on a journey of lifelong exploration and growth.

Curiosity is the spark that can reignite our passion and drive us to explore new horizons. By nurturing it, we can break free from the constraints of fear and societal expectations, allowing ourselves to dream and explore with the wonder of a child. This sense of wonder, paired with a clear understanding of our personal definitions of success, will guide us in creating a life that is rich with meaning and aligned with our deepest aspirations.

As we continue to ask ourselves 'What do I want to be when I grow up?' let's remember that this question isn't about reaching a final destination. It's about the journey—the continuous process of growth, exploration, and self-discovery. It's about living a life that feels true to who we are and leaves a positive impact on the world around us.

Thank you for joining me on this journey today. Let's go forth with curiosity, define our own paths to success, and build lives that are not only fulfilling for ourselves but also inspiring to others. The world is waiting for your unique contribution. Embrace your curiosity, live with purpose, and keep asking, 'What do I want to be when I grow up?'